What are my default rules for a scene? Default because of course, changes can and should be negotiated whenever and wherever they make sense.

Well, one of the first things I need to know is; for this scene am I a top, or am I a Domme? Is this just sensation/pain/mindfuck play? Or is this D/s play?

There’s more to consider in a D/s scene because of the power exchange. As a long-time sub I totally understand the strong desire to do good and to give as much as you can. So I know that might color things. And I also experience deep sub-space and dissociation, (which can happen without D/s) and so I know, for instance, that while you are mumbling “I’m a good boy/girl” with your eyes rolling around in your head isn’t the time to renegotiate boundaries. 😊